The research is crystal clear — children of divorce fare much better when parents are able to protect them from the adults’ conflict. They do this by making a conscious choice to prioritize their children’s interests, control their urge to fight, and work as a team. This does not mean that you give in to the other parent on everything to avoid a fight or give up your rights. But it does mean that you learn how to work together, communicate respectfully, and when the discussion becomes difficult, ask yourself, “How will this decision impact the children?” Of course, this is easier said than done, but the good news is that there is a process that can help families do just that. It is called Collaborative Divorce.
The Collaborative Divorce process helps the parents prioritize their children’s well-being by:
- Facilitating collaborative discussions and providing a specialized professional team to support the children and the parents.
The Collaborative Divorce process is designed to assist parents work as a team to address their children’s needs. The goal is to shift the focus from the parents’ separation to the children’s future. The professional team is specially trained and experienced in working with families in conflict. They help the parents keep the children as the centerpiece of all their decisions and teach them skills and techniques to keep their emotions from impacting the children.
Divorce is emotionally taxing, and even the most loving parents can become upset and lose sight of their main goal. Collaborative Divorce guides the parents through every step of the discussion, mediating when necessary, and keeping the narrative focused on the children’s needs. Each parent has both a divorce coach and an attorney to help them process their feelings during and outside of the meetings. Professional third-party perspectives facilitate positive communication and positive outcomes for the children.
If you are concerned that your divorce might hurt your children, consider Collaborative Divorce. It might be just what you are looking for. Emily De Falla has decades of experience working with divorcing families. As a skilled mediator and collaboratively trained attorney, she helps families stay out of court and have an amicable divorce. Our office is always available to talk with you about how to get started in a cooperative divorce process. If you would like to take advantage of our free consultation, please contact us or call Emily at De Falla Law & Mediation at 925-309-4550.
Emily De Falla is a contributing author and member of Collaborative Divorce California. Emily wrote the preceding article, published on January 17th, 2020. January is National Child-Centered Divorce Month and Ms. De Falla wants to share this article with her readers here as well.