Are you anxious about your separation and divorce? Here are the 10 steps to an amicable divorce when you and your spouse chose to mediate with the Law & Mediation Office of Emily M. De Falla.
- Initial 20 Minute Call.
- First, a phone call with me, either together, or individually to process, timeline, and cost. We discuss the pros and cons meeting in my Danville office, or on Zoom. Then, you confer and decide if you wish to commit to an out-of-court divorce using respectful communication, full transparency, joint decision making.
- On-boarding.
- This is all done electronically. You complete an intake form, review and sign an agreement to mediate (engagement letter), and make your deposit. You’ll join a shared online folder to exchange documents.
- Intake Meetings.
- Next step – each of you meets with me individually for one hour, either on Zoom or in Danville. Although future meetings will be two hours, with both of you together, this first one is different. We’ll get better acquainted, answer questions, and prepare for the process ahead.
- Mediation Meetings.
- The mediation process is a series of meetings with homework in between. Scheduling is customized to each couple. How many meetings and how often depends on the case.
- The Legal Process.
- Our office handles all the paperwork, from A to Z. You will not personally complete any court forms, pay filing fees, or appear in court. A few forms may need to be notarized, but most are handled electronically. All the forms and the legal requirements will be explained to you at the beginning and then again specifically as we go through each during the process. You can ask questions at any time.
- Disclosures.
- California law requires both of you disclose all of your financial information under penalty of perjury on forms called Declarations of Disclosure. We will walk you through this process, compile the information you provide, and produce the forms. Although the documents will not be filed the with court, it is necessary for you to complete and exchange them and certify to the court you have done so.
- The Decision-Making Process.
- You will discuss and make decisions about all relevant issues together during our joint two-hour meetings. Division of assets and debts, income sharing (also called child or spousal support), and a plan for parenting the children (if any) are the primary subject areas, but your family may have others. We will address anything that is pertinent to your situation. Urgent matters can be taken up first.
- Consulting Counsel.
- I may explain the law from time to time, but as a neutral third party I cannot give either one of you legal advice. You may wish to retain a “consulting” attorney to advise you on issues that arise, help prepare for meetings, or to review the final agreement. Consulting attorneys are encouraged but not required. As a rule, they stay on the sidelines and do not come to mediation sessions. It is best if your consulting attorney is also a mediator or collaborative attorney. You will want to select one who is trained in and familiar with the mediation process and will support your choice to mediate. We can provide referrals or point you to websites with mediation friendly consulting attorneys.
- Other Professionals.
- To achieve the most cost effective and successful process, we may suggest the use of other professionals. Those might be a neutral financial professional, a divorce coach, child specialist or co-parenting counselor, real estate professional, appraiser, or actuary. This would be done after a full discussion, and only with your joint agreement.
- Final Judgment.
- After all the decisions have been made, our office prepares the final agreement and all related paperwork for your review, revision, and signatures. We walk you through the signing process, co-ordinate with any other professionals involved, and obtain your Final Judgement.
Congratulations on your amicable divorce!
Our office is located at 185 Front Street Suite 203, Danville, CA 94526. Our phone number is 925-309-4550.
I became an attorney in 1988, joined a prestigious law firm in San Francisco, and I trained as a litigator. After several years I left to open my firm, practicing family law litigation. After handling a number of difficult trials in a row, I began to look for alternatives to traditional family law litigation. My quest led me to mediation and collaborative practice, and I became trained in both.